Well, this is a pain - Typepad just 'ate' my entire post as I was composing it. Never had _that_ happen before. (sigh) Try number 2 - this post is important to me or I'd just hang it up right now. :P
This past week was eventful in some ways and kinda too quiet in others. I only worked on Monday. I spent Tuesday and Wednesday 'cleansing' in preparation for a colonoscoy. :P I had one only a year ago but the cleaning of my intestines did not work so it was a bust.
This time the doctor put me on _two_ days of clear-liquids-only eating. I spent most of the time I was not 'cleansing' asleep to pass the agony. :P I had the colonoscopy on Thursday afternoon so the day was gone by the time I woke up when the procedure was finished (went fine, I was told; will see the dr. again in three weeks for biopsy report). I did not go to the visitation for Arlene on Thursday evening as I was still way too wonky from the anaesthetic. :P
Originally the event was scheduled for Friday afternoon but the doctor's office called late on Monday afternoon and moved it up to Thursday. That turned out to be a good thing as my friend Arlene's funeral was Friday morning. Since I was not allowed to drive for a day after the procedure (anaesthesia concerns), I went with my friends Patty S. and Barbara B. The funeral was held at Vaughn Green Funeral Home near the shop in Baltimore County, on Route 40 (Baltimore National Pike).
I've been to about a dozen funerals in my life-to-date, most for family members but three for friends. I must say that Arlene's funeral was actually enjoyable for me, compared to many. Seems odd to say that ... but ... Arlene came from a closely knit family with a brother, half-brothers and sisters, mother and god daughter along with all their associated spouses and offspring (including many people whose names I knew from talking to Arlene but had never met:).
It was clearly a family that enjoyed one another's company, that cared for one another. Also I caught a glimpse of the same kind of eye twinkle that Arlene had in her mother's face (now I know where she got it:), once. Spirit and toughness along with good heart seemed to be the entire family's common trait. The forty-something couple that operate the funeral home were very much in evidence and very kind (much less ... mmm .... smarmy than others of their kind I've met).
The minister who led the service and offered the eulogy was a good preacher, I thought. The southern black tradition of 'church' behaviour was much in evidence (spontaneous comments of support during speech delivery - 'amen', 'hallaleuijah', etc - clapping, etc.) but I found that comforting, truthfully. My friend Patty thought he spent too much time 'talking about Jesus' - I expect she would have suffered through my Father's funeral just like I did. :P The music was wonderful - a gifted piano player and talented young female vocalist (whose name/relationship to Arlene I never caught).
The only odd note, for me, was that the 'remains' did not look like Arlene to me. Without her twinkle, her soul was definitely gone. (sniff)
We followed in the procession to the cemetary in Arubutus, MD and stayed for the internment ... then went to a family luncheon afterwards at the nearby Cowdensville AME Church. I had never heard of Cowdensville before so I had to go look up the history of the area later. The church was the smallest chapel I have every personally been inside - the cornerstone said the original building was erected in 1857. Apparently the Cowdensville area has been a black farming community for over 200 years - so long that no one knows for sure when it started, just that it has been continuously occupied for a _long_ time by American standards.
The church ladies laid on a wonderful luncheon with a generous spread of what I think of as southern Sunday Dinner comfort foods. I haven't eaten so well since the last time my Mom made Thanksgiving dinner for me - this was the kind of 'home cooking' that filled my childhood. (salivating at the thought) Lima beans (not fresh, dried and resoaked) in ham-hock broth, string beans with bacon, North Carolina style barbecue (rice and beans with gentle spices), real macaroni and cheese, sliced sweet country ham, fried chicken and a spread of cakes and sweets that I carefully avoided (I _am_ supposed to be dieting). The ladies were gracious hostesses, too. (Note to self - write a thank you note!).
One the way home Barbara, who has lived in the Catonsville area for many, many years, drove Patty and I around downtown Arbutus. The weather was glorious - warm and sunny, flowers everywhere. I hope I can remember how beautiful it was later - Arlene would have enjoyed the whole thing, had she been able to attend in person.
Linda
